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“Don’t Call Me Bugsy!”

“Don’t Call Me Bugsy!”
Benjamin "Bugsy" Siegel 1906 – 1947

You Dirty Rat

Nevada 1947

Bugsy was a handsome guy – a real Carey Grant. He don’t look so good now.

The bullet hit him on the bridge of his nose and blew his left eyeball clean out – they reckon it was lying fifteen feet away from the sofa. Another went through his cheek and came out of his neck, he took a couple more in the chest…made a real mess of the upholstery.

Guess it goes to show no ones immune when you`re in debt to the Mob. One minute he’s sat in his girlfriends pad, reading the newspaper, the next they`re looking for his baby blues underneath the furniture.

Can’t say I’m surprised, I mean who in his right mind thinks he can make money out of a Godforsaken shithole like Las Vegas.

The newspapers called him “Bugsy” cos they said he was “Crazy as a bed bug” but if you said it to his face you would be needing a new one of your own – if you know what I mean.

He sure had a temper – When he caught some guy cheating at poker he pulled out his gun and shot him three times. Then, he propped the corpse back up at the card table and carried on playing. When the guy failed to bet his turn – on account of being dead! – he shot him again.

Tough break, but the dames couldn’t get enough of him.

"How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me?" “How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me?”

The guy grew up in Brooklyn and started running rackets in his teens. His gang would would threaten to torch pedlars barrows unless they paid protection money – I wouldn’t wanna see my livelihood go up in smoke on account of some punk kid.

When Bugsy met his best buddy Meyer Lansky they started a bootlegging operation together-all this before he was twenty! Everyone agreed that for a young guy he had guts and thought fast– when the shit hit the fan, Bugsy`d be shooting while you were still scratching your balls.

Once, he hid Al Capone from the cops – a smart move – and later he worked as a hit man for “Lucky” Luciano. “Was he one of the guys who shot Joe Masseria and Salvatore Maranzano?”.. I aint sayin!

Bugsy was never short of female company – plenty of dough, an apartment at The Waldorf-Astoria, sharp suits, and a reputation as a cold blooded killer will do that for a guy.

" Who wants to come to a party at the Waldorf?" ” Who wants to come to a party at the Waldorf?”

In the 30s he was all over New York clubland and never with the same broad twice. The 5 O Clock Club, The Napoleon, Zellis, The Park Avenue, and The Stork, he was welcome at em all.

During prohibition, he must have fucked half the showgirls on Broadway but it was when he came to Hollywood that he really started to play in the big leagues.

Bugsy had a major rep as a founder of Murder Incorporated – who were like General Motors only they killed people. By the late 30s he’d got a beef with a guy called Tony Fabrizzo who was threatening to blow the whistle on this murder for hire business.

Bugsy very publicly checked himself into hospital to give himself an alibi, then he snuck out, and visited Fabrizzo’s home disguised as a policemen – needless to say,  it did not end well for Fabrizzo!

Happy Xmas from the Import/Export business. Happy Xmas from the Import/Export business.

When Fabrizzos men came looking for revenge, the mob sent Bugsy to California.

" Hello Benjamin , George here. Be an absolute darling and tell me what "Waste some cops" means, I have no idea. ” Hello Benjamin , George here. Be an absolute darling and tell me what “Waste some cops” means, I have no idea.

The actor George Raft was a pal which was cute because he was famous for playing gangsters in the movies. He introduced Bugsy to the stars; Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Clark Gable, Gary Cooper..he knew em all.

Many fell for his charm –  many more were too scared not to be his pal.

Jimmy Stewart thought he was a bum and wasn’t afraid to say so, which used to drive Bugsy crazy.

It’s a good thing he had plenty of women to keep him relaxed. There was this tiny French broad called Ketti Gallian. She was a wildcat who had made a few movies in Europe and was trying to break big over here. Bugsy spent $50,000 trying to get her American career off the ground but nothing came of it and she went back to France.

" Mon Dieu! this is 50 grand well spent isn't it? Zut Alors! ” Mon Dieu! this is 50 grand well spent isn’t it? Zut Alors!

He also had a thing for Jean Harlow – who apparently was brought to his room for an “Introduction” by her own stepfather.

"..And i thought Ming the Merciless was bad.." “..And i thought Ming the Merciless was bad..”

I heard he’d rustle up women for his Hollywood buddies to seduce and then sit at the foot of the bed watching while they fucked em.

You know Dale Arden in the Flash Gordon comic strip? Well he screwed her too! Actually he screwed Marie “The Body” MacDonald, the actress who Alex Raymond based his drawings on.

Then there was the English actress Wendy Barrie who had a reputation for being a bit of a nymphomaniac and wasn’t shy in telling people how Bugsy could “go all night”.

" He looks nice!...No Benjamin I didn't say a thing" ” Cor, he looks nice!…No Benjamin I didn’t say a thing”

She sure enjoyed male attention, but Bugsy was the jealous type and she had to keep her eyes and her hands off other guys or she coulda got them killed.

Dorothy DiFrasso was a millionaire’s daughter who was married to an Italian Count but it didn’t stop him sleeping with her either. They went to Rome and tried to sell Mussolini some sort of new bomb, only it wouldn’t blow up so the deal fell through. While he was there, DiFrasso introduced him to Hermann Goering and Joseph Goebbles.

He hated those sons of bitches so much; she had to sweet talk him out of whacking em there and then.

" Such a pity about his bomb. Charming fellow, I think he really likes us" ” Such a pity about his bomb. Charming fellow, I think he really likes us”

His main squeeze though was Virginia Hill, a real beauty who worked for the mob as a high class courier and messenger girl. She had some real powerful boyfriends, was said to have the most fur coats of any women in America and was legendary and I mean, “legendary” for giving the best head on the East Coast.

She and Bugsy spent their times fighting and fucking, it was real volatile.

"I'll suck your dick or ill break your jaw pal, its your choice" “I’ll suck your dick or I’ll break your jaw pal, its your choice”

The mob never let women into their inner circle but they welcomed Virginia – It might have had something to do with her being tough and smart or maybe that she blew a bunch of em one after the other at a mob Christmas party in 1936.

When Bugsy had four of his women staying at the same hotel at the same time, Virginia spotted one of em in the lobby and went nuts. She walked over and punched the broad in the face so hard she nearly dislocated her jaw.

It was at Virginia’s house where Bugsy got shot full of holes.

The story goes that one day in 46 Bugsy stopped in the dessert to take a piss and saw a half built hotel called “The Flamingo” abandoned in a one horse gambling town called Las Vegas.

"It'll make me a fortune"....."Yeah sure Bugsy..I mean Mr Seigal..I'm sorry, don't Shoot!" “It’ll make me a fortune”…..”Yeah sure Bugsy..I mean Mr Seigal..I’m sorry..don’t shoot!”

Bugsy saw his chance to make a fortune and get respectable so he bought it and poured millions of dollars of mob money into making it a real classy joint.

Trouble was hardly anyone came to the opening night and it lost $300,000 in its first week.The mob wanted their money back or else! but Bugsy thought he was invincible –  guess this proves he aint.

So now The Flamingo’s under new management and it’s up the big boys to see if they can make a few bucks outta “Vegas.”

I sure aint holding my breath.

The House Always Wins The House Always Wins

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