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Libertines, Lotharios or Bastards?

If its new, different or not from this country…I HATE IT!

If its new, different or not from this country…I HATE IT!
Charles de Laet Waldo Sibthorp (1783–1855)

"Humbug !!"

1852

Sir –

As a proud Englishman – who despairs of the depraved cess pit of moral filth into which this once great country has become immersed  – may I use the pages of your august ( if somewhat “Liberal” ) newspaper to extol the virtues of the one gentleman who, alone, stands between Albion and the blackest pits of hell.

Colonel Charles de Laet Waldo Sibthorp MP.

I heartily agree with this visionary man when he says that foreigners should be distrusted, science and “Progress” is ruining this country and the world was a far, far better place in the halcyon days of our golden youth.

"Don't trust foreigners, they don't speak the Queens English and their food tastes funny" “Don’t trust foreigners, they don’t speak the Queens English and their food tastes funny”

He speaks his mind and stands by his principles and I for one think he should be Prime Minister (he’d make a damn sight better job of it than that half-wit Lord derby)

Col Sibthorp may be routinely mocked by those over educated young vipers at Punch along with that upstart Dickens,but none who have seen him addressing the House of Lords (as he has done frequently for the past 25 years) can doubt his sincerity.

His recent opposition to the so called “Great Exhibition” is the perfect illustration of the man…

 “An exhibition of the trumpery and trash of foreigners who had no business to be here at all”

..is how he described it, and I for one agree.

Col Sibthorp maintains that last year’s Great Exhibition was nothing more than an excuse for foreign nations (especially the French)  to flood the Great British Isles with hordes of devious spies and malcontents. These European “visitors” only intent was to take away with them details of our country’s defences while leaving behind their disgusting continental morals.

" A tawdry vipers nest of useless "Progress". Can you see all the foreign villains sneaking in to kill us all? CAN YOU?" ” A tawdry vipers nest of useless “Progress”. Can you see all the foreign villains sneaking in to kill us all?…                CAN YOU?”

He passionately maintained that the exhibition would also lead to a debasing of the Sabbath,  political disharmony – possibly revolution – and the entire country becoming bankrupt.

Although none of this has yet come to pass, it can surely only be a matter of time.

I will speak little of the Crystal Palace itself suffice it to say that I am with Col Sibthorp who calls it “ A palace of tomfoolery” and “ An unwholesome castle of glass” . He warned of good honest labouring folk leaving their farms and journeying to London to see it (the nation could starve!!)

These labouring poor, unused to the greater expenses of our glorious capital may need to pawn the very clothes from their backs in order to afford the fare and thousands of them might roam our streets, destitute and quite naked. This cannot be allowed to happen!!

" An army of naked poor, stranded and furious, I know they're here somewhere!!!" ” An army of naked poor, stranded and furious, I know they’re here somewhere!!!”

And as for the number of English trees that needed to be cut down to accommodate this architectural folly, well, it’s a scandal.

Col Sibthorp was only man brave enough to stand proudly in the House of Lords and raise the possibility that the entire enterprise was a subtle plot by His Royal Highness Prince Albert ( A German!!) to subtly overthrow the entire British Empire.

Of course, like the good colonel I have never visited the Crystal Palace myself and have no intention of doing so. He said that the thought of setting foot in the structure physically sickened him and hoped that God would share his misgivings and destroy it utterly with lightning bolt or hailstorm.

The almighty could do worse than listen to Col Sibthorp, this country is teetering on the edge of a precipice and yet I have heard him described as a man of “ bigoted views and limited intelligence

If he is…then so am I !!

" Let the liberals, foreigners, scientists and the young have a say and THIS is what will happen. THE DESTRUCTION OF OUR BRITISH WAY OF LIFE" ” Let liberals, foreigners, intellectuals and the young have a say and THIS is what will happen. THE DESTRUCTION OF OUR BRITISH WAY OF LIFE”

Like the Colonel, I grew to manhood in the glorious days of the late 18th century. A time of hot summers, staunch morals, little crime and general public happiness. The only dark cloud hovering above this Elysium was caused by a Frenchman (Napoleon) and we soon sent him packing.

Everything since those days has been confusing, degenerate, unnecessary , liberal and un Christian. Life would be much better if we could go back to living how we did sixty years ago (without the constant warfare and smallpox, of course)

Col Sinthorp wisely rejects modern clothing ( “Trousers” ha )  and instead wears the frock-coat, top-boots, and quizzing glasses which were more than good enough for respectable men of fashion in 1799.

" We dressed properly in my day,with dignity. NOT LIKE TODAY!! ” We dressed properly in my day,with dignity. NOT LIKE TODAY!!

He sees no reason to change and I often sport a periwig and a ruff for similar reasons.

In the days before factories , the moral fabric of Britain was unbreakable, not like these decadent “Victorian” years.

Col Sibthorp has often loudly despaired of the moral laxity which creeps like a noxious vapour across society.

True, his wife was awarded an uncontested separation from him back in 28 because of his long term assignation with a “Woman of low character” but it seems obvious to me that he was taken advantage of in a two year moment of weakness by a lewd and designing female.

I regard stories that he would often attend Parliament after spending the evening at a bawdy house as the spiteful rumour-mongering of foreign agitators. His enjoyment of “rough congress” I treat with the same distain – although there is nothing wrong with a good flogging as it builds a man’s character.

"Never did me any harm!!" “Never did me any harm!!”

The Colonel may not have actually graduated from Oxford but he had good old fashioned English common sense by the cart load.

This he would have displayed thirty years ago at his very first political hustings, had he not been struck on the head and rendered unconscious by a missile thrown from the crowd at the exact moment he got up to speak.

Undeterred, he campaigned vigorously against parliamentary reform.

“On no account would I sanction any attempts to subvert that glorious fabric, our matchless Constitution, which has reached its present perfection by the experience of ages, by any new-fangled schemes which interested or deluded individuals might bring forward, and those who expect any advantages from such notions will find their visions go like a vapour and vanish into nothing.”

" May I present Col Charles Si.....WHO THREW THAT ?" ” May I present Col Charles Si…..WHO THREW THAT ?”

On this basis he was elected and proudly stands as MP for Lincoln to this very day.

"GOOD LORD WOMAN! What are you doing? The man's a bloody German" “GOOD LORD WOMAN! What are you doing? The man’s a bloody German”

Sadly, Her Majesty refuses to set foot in Lincoln because in 1839, on the eve of her marriage, Col Sibthorp wisely persuaded the government to reduce the amount of Prince Albert’s annuity because he was a foreigner.

This however only highlights what a financially vigilant man Sibthorp is.

Who else would suggest that all British diplomats work for no salary (after all, they are not performing their duties on British soil) and that building work which takes longer that its allotted time to complete such as The National Gallery should immediately be pulled down?

And I fear his concerns over the insidious spread of “The Railways” is well founded.

He has often described steam trains as a new and “degrading form of transport” which will cause a “Wholesale slaughter” of those foolish enough to climb aboard.

In common with many of my generation I suspect that they are simply a passing fancy and will soon go the way of the hot air balloon. Mark my words, by the 1870s we shall have returned to travelling along turnpikes in well appointed stage coaches as God Himself intended.

"The railways will us all. Is that what you want ...IS IT?" “The railways will KILL us all. Is that what you want …IS IT?”

In regarding anything modern, foreign or forward thinking as a “Humbug” Col Sibthorp reflects the thoughts of a great many elderly Englishmen and “women.”

As those thoughts ( all of which I share) are invariably well founded and correct, I demand he be elevated to the highest ministerial position or failing that, be made Pope ( his opposition to Catholic Emancipation notwithstanding.)

Yours

CB  rtd

 

sibthorpe1“… A ferocious looking gentleman, with a complexion almost as sallow as his linen, and whose huge black moustache would give him the appearance of a figure in a hairdresser’s window, if his countenance possessed the thought that is communicated to those waxen caricatures … He is … the most amusing person in the House. Can anything be more exquisitely absurd than the burlesque grandeur of his air, as he strides up the lobby, his eyes rolling like those of a Turk’s head in a cheap Dutch clock? … He is generally harmless, though, and always amusing.”

Sketches by Boz – Charles Dickens, 1851

 

 

 

 

Roguish Note:  I have characterised Col Sibthorp as a “Libertine” because – despite being a reactionary buffoon- he thought and acted true to himself, without a care for the opinion of others .

Like the best libertines, he forged his own individual path through life and indulged himself in the activities which gave him the most pleasure.

The Rake, Yesterday.

The Rake YesterdayTINY

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