» William Hickey, Ladies Man
Rogues Gallery Needs YOU!
Subscribe to Rogues Gallery on YouTube

Click Here to Subscribe

Tweets of a Roaring Boy
Join the Rogues Gallery

Enter your email address for booze, sex and bad behaviour.

RSS (Rotten Sounding Scoundrels)

RSS Feed

Billets-doux
+ 9 = fourteen
Submit Clear
Libertines, Lotharios or Bastards?

William Hickey, Ladies Man

William Hickey, Ladies Man
"My purse is heavy enough for two"

Loose Women

Its 1767 and William Hickey is 18. He had left his boarding school in the village of Streatham the previous year and is now in training to be a lawyer.

His final academic year had been marred by scandal and near expulsion following revelations that a maid by the name of Nancy Dye had been sneaking into his room after lights out.

In truth, the whole affair only came to light because a fat boy called Blackall had seen Nancy tiptoeing into Hickey’s chambers and wanted a little of what he was having. Nancy in no uncertain terms told the horny little porker what he could do with that idea so he threatened to expose the pair. Hickey, quite rightly, gave him a beating after which he went crying to the headmaster.

London with its Bagnios, Bawdy Houses, Nunneries and Brothels is bursting with opportunities for a gentlemen of “The amorous persuasion” to Jock himself stupid. The pox, of course, is an occupational hazard but a slow screaming death with a hole where your nose used to be, happens to other people.

Not that this worries Hickey at the moment because he’s pursuing a lady of quality(ish) Fanny Temple.

Fanny is well spoken, never swears, speaks French “assez bien” has a lovely singing voice and probably goes like a coopers hammering arm.

She is the mistress of a well heeled mystery gentleman who pays for her countryside lodgings in Hammersmith, her carriage and her servants.

He also pays for her rooms on Queen Ann Street which is where she and Hickey find themselves one night in May. As they tumble into bed, Hickey is just pondering on how much better this is than a night at Wetherby’s when there is a commotion in the corridor outside.

It’s the cook, shouting “Thieves, Theives” at the top of her voice.

The look of shock on Fanny’s face combined with her cry of “My God! I am undone” convinces Hickey that it’s probably not thieves at all but instead a subtle code indicating the mystery gentlemen has arrived unexpectedly.

Panic overriding distaste at becoming a romantic fiction cliché Hickey hides in a closet. From within he hears the voice of Fanny’s “Protector” and recognises it as that of a sixty year old friend of his family.

This upstanding pillar of the community has eight children (all still alive,fancy that!)  and a solid, happy marriage based on strong Christian values.

So it’s of particular annoyance that the dirty old bugger’s popped round to his strumpet’s house for a quick one without warning.

"Oi, you two..i said THIEVES!!" “Oi, you two..i said THIEVES!!”

Fanny thinks fast and calls the maid to air some clean sheets while leading the old goat into the dining room. Hickey can hear her telling him she has a headache and is overcome with happiness at his surprise visit.

Squatting in a closet nursing a powerful erection, Hickey is far from happy.

The maid takes the sheets and Hickeys clothes down to the parlour, locking the bedroom door behind her. Hickey climbs out of the window sneaks into the parlour, gets dressed and makes his frustrated escape.

He won’t be going back there again!

The next day Hickey receives a note from Fanny at his rooms asking if they can meet later. Before you can say “Boxing the Jesuit” he’s back at Queen Ann Street where he happily remains for several hours.

Nice One.

 

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Share
Up